Something Terrible Has Happened

Something Terrible Has Happened That sound you just heard was me breaking the fourth wall. We need you all to understand something crucial. It's been touched on before but I'm putting this here so that it's clear. THIS IS NOT REAL The department is a creation of Cutty and I, based upon ideas and dreams … Continue reading Something Terrible Has Happened

On Meteors and Butterflies.

By now everyone probably knows about the Russian Meteor.  Many of you will have heard of the Cuban Meteor, or the claims thereof.  There's been a lot of talk about the Tunguska event. Officially the Department cannot comment.  We didn't do it, it didn't pass through British airspace and we had no personnel on the ground.  As far … Continue reading On Meteors and Butterflies.

The Great Apocalypse of 2012

Well yesterday was hectic. Let's see. The electric star gods invaded, landing their neon pyramid ships on crucial geomantic sites and re-energising the entire planetary grid. That brought the dead back as shambling zombies and triggered earthquakes, tsunami and the magnetic-poles to shift. The very fabric of space-time tore. A temporal infarction resulting in utter … Continue reading The Great Apocalypse of 2012


Unconfirmed reports of a dead yPhone are coming in. I should explain. yPhones are notoriously hard to brick. They're somewhat beyond the current state of technology and always look at least 1 generation ahead. But are... well the nature of the technology they use is beyond my pay grade. For the most part they behave just like … Continue reading yPhones

A Visit She Wont Much Like

Index here. I don’t like being lied to. No-one does. Lying to the Department is another thing entirely. We object to it in the strongest terms. When the Department objects to things we don’t keep it to ourselves. Everybody gets a slice. Mycroft hacked into a satellite feed to check the camp was still there … Continue reading A Visit She Wont Much Like


Just occasionally our cousins across the Atlantic cock up.  Mostly they are the very soul of efficiency.  In fact if the Department has one quarrel with them it's that they're too efficient, too controlled.  So on the rare occasions that they make a mistake it's invariably hilarious. Ladies and gentlemen I give you this: Kidnapped Goat Returned … Continue reading Goatnapped

Vaults Minor Case File 1 – Deadly Dome of Doom

I recently found a boxed-up relic from another time. It had been shipped over from the Vaults Major because it was of no threat and they needed space for stuff that was. It is a decayed dome of what appeared to be a Blue Box Clique prop. I did some research and discovered it was … Continue reading Vaults Minor Case File 1 – Deadly Dome of Doom