Goatnapped

Just occasionally our cousins across the Atlantic cock up.  Mostly they are the very soul of efficiency.  In fact if the Department has one quarrel with them it’s that they’re too efficient, too controlled.  So on the rare occasions that they make a mistake it’s invariably hilarious.

Ladies and gentlemen I give you this: Kidnapped Goat Returned With Pink Manicure.  Follow the link, I’ll wait.

So what on earth does that have to do with our American cousins?  Well goats are very popular sacrificial animals so both the Department and our American counterparts monitor crimes involving them.  There are other animal species that we monitor but I won’t go into that here.

When the theft of the goat was reported to the police it was flagged and the local Agent was sent to investigate.  He tracked the goat thieves down using their mobile phone signals and social media and they were indeed linked to a cabal of wannabe Satanists.  Fortunately for us there a very few real Satanists and the wannabes, though dangerous, are usually idiots.

So the brave Agent disrupted the ritual, foiled the plot and saved the goat.  By which point the sun was coming up and there was no way he could sneak it back to the petting zoo without being seen.  So he took it home.  Much to the chagrin of his wife and the delight of his six year old daughter who was stuck at home with a nasty throat infection.  Do I need to mention that his wife runs a home manicure business?

I’m sure you can all guess what transpired while the Agent was having a well earned rest after his busy night.  So if anyone knows how to get professional shellac nail polish off goat hooves you might want to contact PB Pumpkins petting zoo.  You should also be ashamed of yourself.

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